“Set peace of mind as
your highest goal, and organize your life around it.” ~Brian Tracy
There was a time when
I thought peace was a destination, in much the same way I imagined I’d eventually
arrive at happiness or success.
It seemed like
something I needed to chase or find—definitely not something I could experience
without dramatically changing my life.
I needed to work less,
relax more, and generally revamp my circumstances and relationships in order to
be a peaceful person.
Despite seeing peace
as an endpoint, I also saw it as something passive—after all, that’s why I was so stressed: I had so much to do.
I’ve since realized
that peace is always available, and like any desirable state of mind, it
requires effort, even if that effort entails consciously choosing to be still.
Sure, our
circumstances affect our mental state, but they don’t have to control them, not
if we make tiny choices for our well-being.
Admittedly, it’s not
easy to choose peace when we’re going through tough times. I still go through
periods when I get caught up in worries and stresses, and it can feel like
that’s the only available response to things that have happened.
But it’s not. There
are countless things we can do to create peace of mind—both in response to
events in our lives, and proactively, everyday.
If you’d also like to
develop a greater sense of peace, you may find these suggestions helpful:
Meditation
1. Take 5-10 minutes
for a simple seated meditation.
2. Take 100 deep
breaths, counting “and one,”
“and two,” and so on, with “and” on the inhalations and the numbers on the
exhalations.
3. Take a meditative
walk, focusing solely on
the physical sensations of walking—the earth under your feet, the swing of your
hips.
4. Find a guided
meditation on YouTube and let it lull
you into a blissful state of presence.
5. Practice alternate
nostril breathing. Hold the left
nostril down and inhale through the right; then hold the breath. Release the
left nostril, hold the right one down, and exhale through the left. Now start
on the left with an inhalation, exhaling on the right. This is one set. Do up
to five of them.
Communication
6. Write down
everything that’s weighing you down mentally and then burn it as a form of letting go.
7. Write down
everything you’ve learned from a difficult experience so you can see it as something useful
and empowering instead of something to stress you out.
8. Tell someone how
their actions affected you instead
of holding it in and building resentment.
9. Call someone you’ve
denied forgiveness and tell them
you forgive
them.
10. Apologize for a
mistake instead of rehashing it, and then choose to forgive yourself.
Creativity
11. Engage in a little
art therapy; grab some crayons,
markers, or paint and put all your feelings on the page.
12. Create a peace
collage. Include images
that make you feel relaxed and at ease. (Google “peace collage” and you’ll get
lots of ideas!)
13. Meditate on your
favorite peace quote and then write
it in calligraphy for framing.
14. Take a walk with
the sole intention of photographing beautiful things that make you feel at peace, like a tree
with colorful autumn leaves.
15. Write a blog post
about what gives you peace of mind. (This has been a calming experience for me!)
Activity
16. Get up and dance
to your favorite song, focusing solely on
the music and the movement. Get into your body and get out of your head!
17. Take a long walk
on the beach, focusing on the feel
of the sand between your toes and the sound of the crashing waves. Cliché, but
highly effective!
18. Go for a bike ride
in a scenic part of town,
and immerse yourself in the calm of your environment.
19. Take 5−10 minutes
for stretching, syncing your breath
with the movements (or if you have an hour, visit a local studio for a yoga
class).
20. Declutter a
cluttered part of your home,
creating a more peaceful space.
Acceptance
21. Muster compassion for someone who hurt
you, instead of wallowing
in bitterness, which will make it easier to forgive them and set yourself free.
22. Set aside some
time to actively enjoy the good things about the present instead of scheming to create a better future.
23. Create a list of
things you love about yourself instead of dwelling on how you wish you were different.
24. Focus on what you
appreciate about the people in your life instead of wishing they would change (assuming you’re in
healthy relationships).
25. Recognize if you’re
judging yourself in your head with phrases like “I should have” or “I shouldn’t have.” Replace
those thoughts with, “I do the best I can, my best is good enough, and I’m
learning and growing every day.”
Solitude
26. Start reading that
book you bought about dealing with the
challenge you’ve been facing.
27. Schedule a date
with yourself—a time when you don’t
need to meet anyone else’s requests—and do something that feeds your mind and
spirit. Go to a museum or take yourself to your favorite restaurant and simply
enjoy your own company.
28. Sit in nature—under a tree, on a mountain—and let yourself
simply be.
29. Be your own best
friend. Tell yourself
what’s on your mind, and then give yourself the advice you’d give a good friend
who had the same issue.
Connection
31. Tell the truth in
your relationships. When we hold in
our true feelings, we create stress for ourselves. Be kind but honest and share
what you really feel.
32. Catch critical, blaming, or self-victimizing thoughts. Instead of ruminating on what someone
else did wrong, express yourself and ask yourself what you can do to create the
change you’re seeking.
33. Have fun with someone
you love. Forget about
everything that feels like a problem and do something silly and childlike.
34. Connect with
someone online who can relate to what you’re going through and create a mutually supportive
relationship by sharing and listening.
35. Let someone into
your self-care routine—ask a friend to join a yoga studio with you,
or invite your sister to jog with you on the beach.
Contribution
36. Volunteer your time to help a charity you
believe in. Put all your
energy into helping someone else, and you will inadvertently help yourself.
37. Volunteer at your
local animal shelter. Animals are
naturally present, and it’s contagious!
38. Do something kind
for someone else without expecting anything in return. If they ask what they can do for you,
tell them to pay it forward.
39. Leverage your
passion to help someone else (i.e.: if you’re an aspiring designer, design a logo for a
friend). You get to get in the zone doing something you love; someone else gets
support they need. A win/win!
40. Leverage your
purpose to serve someone else, not for money—just because. That might mean helping them
pursue their passion, or motivating them to reach their fitness goals. Whatever
gives your life meaning, give it to someone freely.
As is often the case
with these types of list, this can seem a little long and overwhelming. The
important thing is that we do at least one tiny thing every day to create
mental stillness. What helps you create peace of mind?
